Thursday, May 29, 2008
I seriously dunno what's wrong with me
I feel sad, angry, stupid, guilty, moronic, i dunno what i spit out and i dunno what i'm thinking...
Argghh, i'm like so fucked up with myself rite now...i can't sleep rite now..coz i'm so sad rite now..first i got fucked up about my coursework coz i was angry at myself for not completing it...coz i dun want to fail my o'levels and i'm worried...
Then he called me...but it seemed that i was depressed and this somehow affected us talking..maybe i was too boring that he wanted to go to sleep..coz in my mind, over these past few days,we rarely talked on the phone...and i missed talking to him on the phone..and i suddenly went down angry at him...nowadays, i get angry over small things i guess...i dunno why...maybe i got some anger management prob or sumthing...somehow i need to overcome them...maybe i need to console myself in the time of need..especially in front of him...i'm scared he would let me go...and somehow i feel it's all falling about apart coz of me...selfish, stupid, foolish me...i really dunno how to describe myself...now it's 2.30am...i still can't sleep...coz the guilt of my rotten heart is still there...i'm sorry my dear...i'm realllyreally terribly sorry on my behaviour towards you...i dunno what the fuck is wrong with me..and i didn't mean what i say...i made u cry, i make u suffer...i make u miserable...Do you still want me?? i dunno...after i've treated u in that matter...i'm unsure...and i'm sure i hurt u that bad...i just want to apologize...
Labels: I want to apologize
